Busy as a Bee...

What a summer! Well, it hasn't been much of a summer weather-wise - - - between the rain and cool temps, it seems more like spring than anything else! I guess ya gotta look at it in the positive - we're saving a bunch on electricity because we aren't using the AC!!

Anyhoo - - - aside from my life being the constant up and down and up and a big LOOP then down again, it's been a busy time... without Jakers in school (when Justin would nap) I'm missing my treasured 2 hours of ME TIME during the day. I didn't realize how wonderful that time was - whether I used it for household stuff, or just relaxing with cross-stitch, crafts, games, photography, etc... I manage a few minutes here and there to get on the 'puter - but my real time is at night. And by the time "nighty night" rolls around, and I've done the dishes and laundry and picked up and planned for the next day - the *LAST* thing I feel like doing is thinking about writing a blog.

I've managed to get some wonderful pics of the boys over the past few months... and plan to post them... as soon as I can fool the clock into thinking there's more time than it thinks....

Sweet Miracle Maggie

Not sure how many of ya'll still read this - but I have to post this anyway. Friends of mine from high school (we won't say how many years) are facing a very stressful day tomorrow. Their sweet little girl Maggie Juneis scheduled for some major surgery tomorrow - and the peanut is just a little past her first birthday. While she's shown to be just as strong, determined, and stubborn as her mommy and daddy, this is still a tenuous time for them - - - so I'm asking ya'll to send up positive thoughts and prayers to whatever and whoever you believe in...

'Nuff said...

Dang you, technology!

So I've been without my internet since Friday. I'm not sure if I'm glad to get it back, or slightly disappointed! I've gotten an incredible amount of stuff done around here - today I finished shampooing the rugs in the bedrooms, hallway, and living room (with a bit of help from my loverly neighbor). Plus I've been able to go through both Jacob's and Justin's clothes for outgrown stuff, and managed to start some of my clothes. And seeing as tomorrow is Jake's last day of school (and a picnic I can't wait for!), I spent this evening baking and decorating 4 dozen sugar cookies, 2 dozen finger sammiches (tuna and egg salad), cutting veggies for tossed salad, and making milk chocolate truffles for his teachers. Jake and I just finished putting together some little bags for his classmates with bubbles and such. Once I get him to bed I've got little notes to put together... and as much as I'd like to catch up with ya'll, I'm going to do my duties and find ya'll later...

This time...

This time...

10 years ago...

I was sitting in my light pink bedroom with the roses that I stenciled on the walls, realizing it's not good to shave your legs after 2 glasses of wine...

With my maid of honor and "sister"...

Realizing that at 10:30 the next morning I was going to be a "Mrs."...

Why I'm miserable...

This is my car.

No, that's not snow. It's pollen.

Ick.

Dang you, allergies!

I had planned on doing a big update tonight - full of pictures and lovely updates - but it seems as if Mother Nature hates me. We had Family Day today - with a trip to Mohegan Park and pizza from our favorite Gus's in Plainfield. Unfortunately, Mother Nature decided to give me the worst allergies I've had in F O R E V E R - - - and as I sit here, I'm a big itchy burny nosey stuffy cranky allergy mess. So I'm hoping for some rain tonight - to get the ridiculous amount of pollen off the deck - and when Jaker's os in school tomorrow, I *PROMISE* a photo dump!

I'm off to bed...to find my Kleenex and a cold washcloth...

WOW!

I was going through my pictures tonight, and realized how much has happened with the boys that I've neglected to share! They're still the silly little monsters, but I've managed to catch a lot more on camera. If all works out, I'll do a big old photo-dump this week... so watch out!

Seeing the sunshine...

I'm still here - yay!! Just managed to get both kids in bed, and I'm going to enjoy tonight to myself. Today started out a bit rough (only because I decided to enforce my decision instead of being the usual marshmallow...) but once I let the banshees outside, I had more laughs than I'd managed in a long time. Nothing like seeing your boys strip to their birthday suits, running around the back yard, deciding to make a bathtub out of their Radio Flyer! I'm not feeling 100% - - - but I'm hoping I've convinced myself to find the sunshine in every day...

still here... trying to figure out up from down... but i'll be back!

We break now for a scheduled warning...

I just had to pop on to once again, apologize for my lack of entries. I've been feeling that damned darkness creeping back up on me - and I'm trying like hell to fight it. But the damn thing keeps finding me when I least expect it. I think what gets me the most frustrated is that I can't control it - - - I'm not one to tolerate lack of control... This week I've been away from the computer a lot, trying to focus for MYSELF - spending my nights watching movies *I* want to watch (like Twilight for the 4th time...), or crafting, or catching up on those nagging little clutter piles. I'm hoping to re-focus... So far this week, I've had some great times, and I'm looking forward to some more in the next days. If I can cling to THAT, and not the darkness, I should be ok...

National Champs!!!

I know this post is a wee bit overdue - - - but hey - - - I haven't been known to have a lot of free time on my hands!

A few weeks back I got to join Dad at the 2nd Round NCAA Women's Tourney at Gampel. It was FANTASTIC! Sad to say, it was the first basketball game I'd been able to see all year... I can see them on TV anytime, but there's something about sitting in those seats in Storrs that makes the difference. I loved being able to spend time with Dad - we hadn't had the chance in so long! And being back on campus, seeing the familiar sights and faces - - - it really renewed my energy. UConn really is my home!

So here are some pics... enjoy!!

The ticket...

The Pep Band...Tip-off...Serious Geno...Although I was sad not to see Big Red, this silly Cat-in-the-Hat dude is a good replacement...Too bad the men weren't able to add another banner...Final score - typical UConn Women whuppin'!

YAY for teeth!!!

Just wanted to pop in... I have *so many* pictures to share... and some REALLY silly stories to share - - - and I promise to do so in the near future. But right now, I need to take my valium and go to bed.

Ya see... tomorrow is day #2 of my lovely dental work. Round #1 was back in November... I am absolutely PETRIFIED of going to the dentist, thanks to the "talented" man who removed my wisdom teeth when I was in college. This past fall, I found myself in a pain I couldn't ignore - and managed to locate a new dentist. I found Waterford Dental Health, a dental office that offers sedation. I knew it was the only way I'd be able to get through whatever I needed... so after 2 consults, I went for round #1.

Once they were in my mouth, poking and prodding and doing God-knows-what (I was out cold...what do I care!!!) I guess they found a few more areas that needed attention. So tomorrow, I get to go in for root canal #2, and 2 crowns... grrr...

It doesn't make me happy - - - but I know I'm the only one in charge of my health. At 33, I'm dealing with the consequences of my youth... My parents didn't want to make me do anything I didn't want to do - - - their logic was, why spend the time/money when it wouldn't be taken care of... My wallet (hahaha) kinda wishes they were more forceful, but my heart(luvluvluv) knows that just isn't how I was raised. I'll probably be the same way with my kids...might not be the best idea, but the most "full of love" idea...

Hopefully once I come out of all the fun tomorrow I'll have a full mouth of pain-free teeth... and the knowledge that one needs to take care of themselves!!! Last time I was back in the swing of things by the next day... so keep posted for some more pics... more stories... and more HAPPY TEETH!

My latest inspiration...

So in all my free time, I've decided to try to re-do my craft chair. A few weeks ago I sat down on it, and ended up on my arse on the floor! Before ya'll start with the jokes, the chair is 30 years old... it's the chair to the bedroom set I got when I was moved to my big girl room when Dana was born... it's OLD. I've always considered doing something to the chair (and maybe even the desk) but never had a real reason. Well, after taking the seat off to repair the frame, I've decided now is the time!

Here's the chair as it looks now... it's pale yellow with a very slight gold splatter... It's in pretty good condition - could use a good cleaning, but otherwise isn't screaming "REPAINT ME!!"

I've got 3 fabrics I'm considering to re-cover the seat. First, this funky plum-ish color taffeta with a green irridescent sheen...

Then I have this brown-purple-ish canvas type fabric with the enbroidery...

The one I'm really considering is this - - - yellow background with blue sun and moon and a gold sparkle... aside from the fact I'd have to do minimal repainting to the chair, it's got sun and moon!!! I haven't done anything more than fix the frame at this point - - - I'm not sure which fabric I want to use, which will then lead me to figure out the paint color... So I'm asking for input! PLEASE let me know which one ya'll like the best... Cuz I can't decide!!

Spring Gala

A few weekends back, Steve and I escaped for a night out - we got all dressed up and actually had someplace to go! Every year his company holds a Spring Gala - Steve described it best as the Company Prom. It's not at all cheesy, but it's the once-a-year dress up treat for the partners. We hadn't been in 2 years, and although not much has changed, it was still a fantastic night!

Both Steve and I were confused at the start time - and ended up getting there really early! Luckily, we came across some of the guys in his group at the bar - so we all sat down for a drink and caught up. Then we headed into the ballroom for cocktail hour (and the most FANTASTIC coconut shrimp!!!). Dinner was FANTASTIC - I was in love with the pasta station!! We ended up having to leave right after dessert, so we missed out on the dancing - oh well... But it was a great night - caught up with some fun people - and actually got to feel like adults for a change!

You never know...

I hate to be so serious - but I suppose when something touches you so deeply, it has to be shared. So here I am... sharing...

Tonight I went to the NCAA Women's game with my dad up at UConn. Even though we had a great night (I'll share later), I'm left with a melancholy feeling that I can't shake. I wish I had more answers, but right now all I can do is hope things turned out for the best.

See, I happened to come across a car accident - a pretty big one. A truck up on a side road, and a Taurus-like car on the right side of the road, facing the wrong way. Lots of police cars, paramedics, fire trucks... sand scattered about to sop up something (gas maybe?)... I never really like looking at car accidents (who can blame me?) but this one left me not wanting to ever look again.

I was about to drive past when a police officer stopped me. It gave me the chance to take in the scene... I happened to stop right next to a green SUV with the back tailgate open. I looked up to notice a man take a car seat from the Taurus, throw it in the SUV, and get in. I had been stopped to let this man leave the scene of the accident. Once he pulled out I was able to go, and ended up behind him all the way to the hospital, where he turned in and I kept going. At one point he had his arm out the window, and I could see his wedding band. I can only conclue that this man was the daddy to the little one in the car seat, and husband to the mom driver...

I checked the news, and as of now there's nothing posted about the accident. I'm hoping that Dad had to get the car seat so he could pick up the little one at daycare, and now they're all home, snuggled on the couch - mom with a little stiff neck, but all of them happy and safe.

I guess my point is this - you never know what's going to happen. And when it's going to happen. I bet these people started their days like any other - and in an instant, it's all changed.

I couldn't help but imagine my own family in this situation. What if I had been in that Taurus, with the boys in the car? How would I have felt if I was hurt and had to be taken away... what would happen to the boys? Where would they go? Who would give them kisses and tell them Mommy will be ok? What if Jake was waiting for mommy at school, and I never came? Or worse yet... what if I was like that Dad... What if *I* got the call that there was an accident and I had to go to the scene to get a car seat like he did, or have to rush to the hospital... Who would comfort them until mommy got there?

I know I can't live my life holed up in my house, with the boys locked in a bubble. But the accident made me think of some things that need to be addressed in my own life - in my home, relationships...

Needless to say, I gave both of the monsters a sweet kiss and gentle back rub as soon as I got home. I left each a little post it that says "I LOVE YOU" next to their pillows (even though they can't read!). And you can bet I'm checking those car seats first thing in the morning...

Goof

What's not to love??

Why I love them - part 2

Today was actually a really good day in Mommy-land. Yeah, the kids were nutty - but not any more nutty than usual. At some points they were actually calm! But the little monsters graced me with some little nuggets of joy... and I share them with you now...

Jacob has been learning about germs in school. I've always stressed the importance of hand washing and whatnot - but I think the lessons with his teacher really connected. He came home today telling me he knows what the germ that causes colds looks like, and that he knows germs make you throw up. I asked him how he knew that - and he said "Because S barfded all over the floor!" Lovely...

In the same vein... Justin has always been a little scamp. We've had trouble the past few months getting him to keep his diaper on - on very rare occasions it stays put without needing duct tape (JUST KIDDING!) I had managed to change him this morning - but decided not to wage the war of clothing just yet, so I let him romp around a little just in the diaper. About 5 minutes goes by, and I notice the quiet. Quiet is NEVER good with my kids. So I go into Justin's room to discover an entire package of wipes strewn about... an equal number of diapers scattered around... and the cutest little face sitting naked in the middle of it all - - - he kept saying "BEE BEE DIPEE!!! BEEBEE DIPEE!!!" I think it's time to start potty training...

Kitchen Therapy - the sequel

Today was another day in need of some kitchen therapy. I wasn't able to start until later in the afternoon, but once I started...

My first treat was fresh baked bread. The boys LOVE it, and I love making it. I just pulled it out of the oven and I'm trying not to grab a huge chunk, smother it in honey butter, and enjoy the sweet taste!

Once the bread was left to rise, I made some Cheesy Chicken Roll-ups for a birthday party tomorrow. (I'd share a pic, but it's pretty unremarkable). Equally unremarkable - but also equally delicious!!! - was the marinara sauce I made. This is my second batch, and I love it! It's so easy, so healthy - and the boys eat it like it's going out of style! I managed to freeze half the batch, so I don't have to worry next time I get the request for "noo-noo an soss".

I had to run out to get a few remaining goodies for my last treat of the night - but that was OK, as I needed help from Chef Jakers to complete the dish. I've recently joined Weight Watchers (keep an eye out for a post on that in the near future) - and one of the recipes I came upon was this Asian Vegetable Soup.

It may not look like much in the pot, but it is absolutely FANTASTIC! Just enough spice to warm your mouth and satisfy your tastebuds. And the veggies are so yummy! I've already got a batch in the freezer...

Some people clean when they're irritated... some shop... but I cook. YAY!

Why I love them - part 1

There are times when being a stay at home mom is total torture - cruel and unusual punishment. But there are times - more often than not - that I take such joy in my boys. Everyone told me it would get easier - and while each day brings a new challenge, it is, in a sense, getting easier.

I've decided that the best way to survive is to focus on the positive - so I'm starting a new "series" of little anecdotes - that I'm going to call "Why I love them". Hope you enjoy!

So to start... some recent little sillies from the boys...

Justin has his own language. He is talking a lot more - although for someone who doesn't know what he's saying, it sounds like gibberish. But his favorite phrase seems to be "YAYA! Doo-een? Det dow... Det down... Yaya - doo-een??" In English, that's "Nala! What are you doing? Get down! Get down! Nala! What are you doing?" His favorite show is "Tine-tine" (Little Einsteins) - his favorite things are his "nie-nee" and "nie-nah" (blanket and binkie). He loves to splash in the "tubby" with his big "buddah", read "boohs", play with "cais" on the race track and kick "blalls" in the yard.

Jake has discovered nutrition (yay!) I guess they did a segment in school on healthy eating and the food pyramid. He was always a bit of a picky eater, but I'm finding it a little easier to get him to try (and enjoy) new things. And as usual, he has to do it in his own special Jacob way. He can't ask for breakfast, or a snack - he has to ask for the particular nutrient. "Mom, I want some protein." "I don't want dairy, I want fiber!" "I had enough bread, I need milk." It cracks me up! But it has made things a little easier for me - if there's something I'm trying to convince him to eat, I emphasize the nutrition of it - and so far, it seems to work!

I hope to add these little sillies now and then - to remind myself why I've decided to stay home - and to give ya'll a little chuckle in your day!

More nice weather...

I've come to the realization that I'll be spending a LOT of time outside this year! The boys just chomp at the bit to get outside whenever there's not rain or chill. I figure it'll give me time to catch up on yard work!

Last week, while Jake was at school, Justin refused to nap. I needed the fresh air - so we headed out to romp for a little bit. First he climbed on the little bike - that was actually Jake's (from Paul and Kate) - and now both have outgrown it! Then he decided it was time to mow the lawn..

After mowing the lawn, he tried to go sledding...

As a last ditch attempt to enjoy the outside, he headed for Jake's bike... Believe it or not, he actually managed to get on the seat!

When it was nice outside...

Last week we had a nice spell of warm weather. I use "warm" in the sense that one could go ouside and not have their nose freeze off. Come on - it's New England - it doesn't matter that it's March!

But with the warm weather came some major cabin fever - so I took the boys to one of our favorite spots - the Rhododendron Sanctuary in Pachaug State Forest. It's a bit hard to visit in the winter, as the road and path are usually unplowed - so this is the first time we've been since the fall. I loaded the kidlets in the car - along with some bread crusts to feed the waterbugs - and we had a nice afternoon in the fresh air.

"Come on, ma! Stop with the pictures! LET'S WALK!!"
Some spots on the trail still had snow...
...while others were nice and clear.
Feeding the waterbugs... I doubt there were any waterbugs out... and I *really* doubt they like dried bread crusts... but they boys like to feed them - and I'm sure there's some creature downstream that LOVED the buffet!
And finally, a few scenic pics I managed to take...

Carb Overload!

It's only 945, and already I've made a loaf of white bread - and there's Irish Soda Bread in the oven. Jake was BEGGING to cook this morning...

Mystery Solved

So we've been in this house 4 1/2 years - and I'd like to think we've got everything figured out at this point. We've had a few problems here and there, and it never fails that some sort of half-arsed attempt at repair had been made before we moved in. Needless to say, when something goes wrong, we're never surprised at the reason.

We have a ceiling fan in our bedroom - which has come in handy in the warmer months. It's got this neat handy dandy remote - for those moments of laziness when you can't be bothered to get out of bed to turn off the light or adjust the fan. Unfortunately, the remote has often been a fun toy for the boys when they've been fast enough to beat me to the switch.

Which leads to the mystery being solved. The mystery is this - over the past 4 years, we've had 2 incidents where the light in the room was so incredibly dim. Like night-light dim. And we couldn't figure out why. We replaced the bulbs. Steve checked the wiring. Nada. We just chalked it up to another one of those half-arsed things in the house, and planned on getting a new one in the future.

Last night, they boys and I were hanging out, watching TV and snuggling before bed. Justin had grabbed the remote, and I thought nothing of it. All of a sudden, the light got really dim - I noticed his little meaty hand just clutching the remote where the light switch is. Then my own personal light got brighter - It has a dimmer switch! So lo and behold - there was nothing wrong with the light in the first place. The problem was us not being able to figure out how to operate a simple light switch remote!

If we can't figure this out, our VCR and DVD player are totally out of the question...

Pride got the best of me...

I think I've learned my lesson.

KEEP YER TRAP SHUT!!

I was so proud that none of the family had come down with any of the ick that has been going around. I was thrilled that Justin was so healthy, and that Jake had managed to weather the winter in preschool without any of the cooties...

And then it hit...

At the beginning of last week, Jacob started with some sniffles... then a bit of congestion... then the cough. ACK! I kept him home on Wednesday - he didn't have a fever, but he was pretty congested, coughing a bit. And he was totally content to sit on the couch with his blue blankie... which, if you know Jacob, is TOTALLY out of character! The "ick" seemed to be defeated with lots of fluids (yay rocket blender!!) and some good sleep... and by Thursday he was ready to go back to school.

Thursday was a pretty good day! Then Friday came... Both kids were a little snotty - but still, I hoped the "ick" would just pass over us OVER...

Until Saturday...

>Lucky Jake was better - he still had a bit of a cough, but he was well enough to be the little dictator I love... Poor Justin wasn't so lucky. He woke up with a runny nose, some nasty congestion, and that tell-tale cough. I had some errands to run, and I hoped the car ride would put him down for a good nap... No such luck. The poor kid must have felt so lousy that his little red-cheeked face just screamed "Mommy GIMME SOME NYQUILL!!" Unfortunately, that's not on the list of approved meds... I cut the errands short and gave him some Motrin. Even though he didn't get in a good nap, he seemed in better spirits. He woke a few times through the night - but for the most part, he slept well.

But I think the hours of good sleep let the "ick" really set in... He woke up this morning (Sunday) with a 101 fever and one whopper of a chest cold. I've been keeping a real close eye on him, to make sure it doesn't go beyond this. Jacob has his share of respiratory illness his first 2 years, so I know what to look for - - - and so far, Justin is just in the "I feel like poo but I don't need to go to the doctor" stage. I made sure to give him whatever he wanted - which was nothing more than juice, milk, and the occasional apple slice. He did gulp down a container of yogurt before bed, so I'm hopeful he's satisfied. Between a full tummy, some Motrin, and the remainder of my "taken-off-the-market" PediaCare cough and congestion formula, I hope he feels well enough to sleep well... Poor little man!

That being said, *I* am going to bed. I've started with a wee bit of a scratchy throat this morning... and as we all know, Mommy can NOT get sick!

Dancin' Machines

This is what happens when my kids get the boogie bug...

Sweet boys

Thanks to the lovely plow guys in town, we were FINALLY able to get out of our road this morning- - - having met up with neighbor Dave, I know there really *ARE* people in town that care for children - - - When I thanked him for doing our driveway, he simply said "If there was an emergency with those boys, you'd need to get out. I did it for the boys." Dave and Judy have twin grandsons that are almost 3 - - - so they know what life is like with little ones. It really warmed my heart... We don't see them but a few times a year... but living in a "neighborhood" where people know you and care is one of those things I've always looked forward to...

So today, Jakers was finally able to go back to school - - - to some mixed emotions. He started a cough over the weekend, and it got a little worse as the days went by. This morning I was a little undecided as to whether or not to send him to school... he didn't have a fever, just some coughing and a smidgen more crankiness (which, for Jake, could be as little as not getting the right jelly on his PB&J). So off he went. We ran some errands and he was FANTASTIC! Even Justin cooperated... until bedtime.

I had been trying to get Justin to bed so Jake and I could have our treasured "mommy/Jacob time" - meaning any time we do something special. Tonight was coloring - - I had been given some volunteer work from his teacher, and Jake had to join in. Justin was tired as anything. but fought the good fight. Just as I was at the end of my rope, Jacob comes to me and asks what was wrong with is baby (how he refers to Justin) . When I explained that Justin was tired but didn't want to sleep, Jake began to sing "lullabye... and goodnight... sweet baby it's sleeps time..."

Nomally, I would have scooted Jacob out as fast as I could... but tonight I let him settle his little brother...

And now they are both asleep...

I love my little men!

SNOW DAY!

OK - so maybe a snow day in CT isn't such a big deal, but I actually managed to get some pictures this time! Our neighbor Dave came over with his snow plow and was halfway through the driveway before I noticed - which allowed Steve to get out and play with us, rather than suffering through shoveling duty. (I'm going to deliver some sort of delicious baked confection tomorrow as a thank you...) So I bundled up the boys and myself, and outside we went.

I was a bit peeved when the lovely town plows managed to plow us all in - the plow came DOWN the street, but looped around OPPOSITE all the driveways. NO ONE could get out! We got quite a bit of snow...

This was taken at the far side of the cul-de-sac, opposite our driveway. Notice there's NO WAY to get out!

Jake LOVES the snow, so it didn't take long before he was climbing in and out.

Justin wasn't so sure... I think it was a wee bit too deep!
Once they found the sled (my $15 steal at LL Bean a few years ago, regularly priced at $100!) I got the best moment of the day - my 2 boys playing nicely with each other! Jake had a blast hauling Justin around the street, both of them laughing the entire time.
Although it was nice for us all to get outside, I'm praying for school (and work) tomorrow...

Morning wake up call

This morning started off as any typical morning does - the boys wake up much earlier than I'm ready for, and start the day on fire. They're non-stop from start to finish - while I need time to warm up and wind down. Makes for some interesting breakfasts...

Anyway, the boys and I were nibbling breakfast in my bedroom, watching a bit of TV, when Justin decided to crawl under my bed. That alone amazed me, since I wasn't aware there was any breathable space under there! But he wiggled out, pulling a storage box of pictures with him. When the novelty of the box wore off and he went back to being Justin, I quickly rummaged through the box. There were some fantastic pictures in there - I even found the envelope of pictures that were used to make our wedding video!

But the thing that woke me up was in this silver photo album, engraved with the words of our wedding invitation, that was given to us by The Gang. It's filled with all the pictures taken with the disposable cameras we had on each table. As I looked through the pages, I marveled at it all. We had so many people there - so many people who love and care for us. So many people who were having fun celebrating the special day. Then the reality hit - - - of how things have changed over the last 10 years. There were so many faces that aren't around anymore - - - some have moved on to bigger and better things, some we've lost touch with. Some that have passed on - Nana, Auntie Vi, Diaz. What impacted me the most was how many marriages have fallen apart. On a quick glance I counted 5 couples that have since been divorced. I know there are a few more couples in our lives that weren't pictured that have also gone their seperate ways. It really made me think about my life - about where things stand, and where things need to be. About what's really important.

Things have been kinda rough lately - but it's all getting better. I hope as the little things fall into place, the bigger things will start to follow (or at least be a bit easier to put into place). Life isn't something that can be thrown away like trash, put on a shelf like a book - life is something that needs to be lived, and lived in the best way possible. I think I realize that now - and I think I want that now.

This is what happens...

...when I do laundry...

Crazy Cats

This might make me borderline "crazy cat lady"... but I'm willing to take the risk!

Art by me - words by Jacob.

This is just sheer boredom on my part...

Treasure Hunt

One of Jake's favorite shows is Disney's Little Einsteins. He loves the classical music - he loves the art. And he LOVES the adventures. We have a video that has the episode "The Treasure Behind the Little Red Door" - - - I guess he got inspired by that and began going on treasure hunts around the house. While Justin was napping, Jake and I drew up our own treasure maps - and went on a hunt in the cul-de-sac. I've never had such an easy time climbing volcanoes and crossing oceans!

Is it really THIS cold?

I'm wondering if someplace really hot has frozen over...

Justin is playing in the living room by himself - neatly and quietly.

Jacob is picking up his room - quietly and somewhat willingly.


I'm not sure what to do with myself!!

I know why hamsters eat their babies...

Let me preface this by reminding ya'll that I love my boys. I really do. And as much as I have days when I'd like to send them to Siberia, I know my place right now is home with them. But lemme tell ya - today, I realized once more why hamsters eat their babies.

If ya get 'em while they're still small and cute, they don't stick around to make you TOTALLY INSANE!!

There must have been something in the water or the air or the atmosphere or the solar system. Something that got into their cute little heads and turned them into monsters.

Justin hit the terrible 2's in full force - - - and he has totally perfected the art of the tantrum. His favorite activity of the day was to climb on the dining room table and throw EVERYTHING off. I'd remove him and place him at the OPPOSITE end of the house, only to find him hauling his tush back down the hall, laughing all the way - and returning to the top of the table. But my favorite of the day? Chapstick art. Yup. Let's just say that I'll no longer start a load of laundry knowing my blessed Burt's Bees pomegranate lip blam is on the table... Still trying to figure out how to get that out of the nice couch...

Jake is too smart for his own good - I think we established that long ago. However, the smartness because a real issue when it turns into defiance. No parent likes to hear "NO!" from their child - but after today, I'd settle for something that simple! Jake couldn't just say the word - he had to demonstrate it in a number of ways. He'd cross his arms across his chest, harumph in the most dramatic fashion, and turn his back. He'd write N O in the air with his finger and go back to what he was doing. He'd stand rod-straight, draw a circle with a line through it (like a no-smoking sign) and shake his head. Or the best? A strong proclamation of "I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE!" It was almost 3 before I managed to get him out of his PJ's! I gave up trying to get him to put his Legos in the case when he started throwing them at me...

There are days when I feel like I'm not cut out to be a mom - that I'm dooming my kids to a lifetime of therapy. Sometimes I wish I was more like the uber-moms you see on TV or read about in books. I get sad when I feel so frustrated with the kids. But then I look at them... ...and I guess they don't seem to tasty after all.

Kitchen Therapy

Some people engage in retail therapy - - - my chosen route is kitchen therapy. When I'm twitchy and unsettled, I cook. Which works great in this house - I cook, the men eat. And all is well...

Today was a twitchy day. I wanted to cook from the moment I woke up - thankfully Jakers wanted a "falled egg" (really a scrambled egg, but I told him it's what happened when Humpty Dumpty fell...) Obviously, that didn't cut it - so I had to resort to reading cookbooks till Jake went to school and Justin napped. As soon as I had the time, the spree began...

I started with my second batch of homemade ketchup. While that was simmering, I made some Cinnabon muffins - half for us and half for the neighbors. I had some time to waste while those were baking, so I decided to make some bread! I try to make fresh bread myself when possible, and I had the chance to get the dough ready to go... Once Jake was home from school, I made up some fresh buttermilk biscuits and chicken stew for the neighbors - all from scratch. Right now the bread is baking and smells HEAVENLY.

Unfortunately, the kitchen looks like a bomb hit it...

Off kilter...

Ever wonder why you do some things? Things that may seem like a good idea at the time - then once they've played out, it's a total catastrophe... I did something like that a few weeks ago, and ever since then, I've regretted it. I feel like I should have kept my mouth closed - I should have just kept my thoughts to myself and kept on pretending I wasn't having a hard time. But I kinda hoped by reaching out, it would help me get better. Instead, it seems to have made things worse. I think I scared off a lot of people - I know friendships go both ways - but now I'm scared to say anything more and come off like a total nutjob. Maybe no one knows what to say - hell - even I don't know what to say. I'm just sitting here feeling off kilter - lost - and sad. I really try every day to get myself better - to get myself out of the hole I've dug - and there are moments when things seem good. But sometimes I wish I'd just kept quiet and continued pretending. Oh well.

Sweet Baby T

So some of ya'll know I think incredibly highly of my neighbors S & L. They have 14 kids between the 2 of them - some biological, but mostly foster children. Usually with highly complicated medical needs. Since they've been my neighbors, they've adopted little Miss M - Jake's bestest friend. And this past year, they adopted V & B - twin brothers who started off with the cards stacked against them. Today, Miss M is a silly little 6 year old who is Jake's partner in crime - - - and V & B are thriving 2 year olds... when they were never expected to come home.

This past winter, sweet baby T came to join the family. I don't know his whole story - but suffice it to say he was premature - with a lot of complications even before he entered the world. I have only had the chance to see his sweet face twice -but that mommy gene in me just reached out to him. Having 2 very active little men, it's so comforting to be able to hold a sweet, round-faced little cherub who just looks at you and coos.

Unfortunately, sweet baby T is having a rough time. He had been battling some respiratory illness for a few weeks - which resulted in RSV. Last weekend he was admitted to CCMC and put on a ventilator. Over the past week there were some ups and downs - - last I talked to S&L, all was on an up. So when I saw everyone home this afternoon, I felt optimistic that the wee one was doing well. Not the case.

Seems as if he not only is battling the RSV, but has staph and strep infections in both his lungs and bloodstream. He had to be placed back on the ventilator - and has been given yet another dose of a highly-powerful antibiotic. S is a strong woman - and today, I heard fear in her voice. Even though he's "just" a foster child, I know there is tremendous love for this little man - -- I can only pray he pulls through...

After a day like today - when Jakers and Justin made me nuts with their kidlieness - - - I'm so thankful that they *can* make me nuts. Even though they made a total disaster of Jake's room, I'm so thankful that they had fun together - so much so that their screaming made the cats go crazy! Justin's tummy troubles with milk may be stressful in my world, but I know that I'm lucky he eats like he does. I guess one just has to look at what one has, and be glad...

A few changes...

It's been about 2 weeks since my last post, and I've done a lot of thinking. I need an outlet for me - I need an avenue to share my life, not just the family's life. I guess since I'm the author of thise blog, I can make it what I want - so I'm taking a new direction. Please let me know you thoughts!

Taking a break...

Just wanted to pop on to let ya'll know I'm going to be taking a break from this blog for a while. I don't have the time or energy to keep up with it like I'd like to - so I'm going to take a little blog vacation. I haven't felt much like sharing things - - - so when there's something worth sharing, I'll be sure to let ya'll know.

In the first hour of my day...

*Jacob has locked not only himself in the bathroom, but the cat as well - TWICE.

*Justin emptied 2 drawers in my dresser and started to haul things from the armoire.

*The boys cleared out my cabinet with my FOOD PROCESSOR in it - apparently Jacob can undo the child lock...

*As I was freeing Nala from Jacob's death grip, Justin figured out that if you pull the kitchen drawers out just a bit, they make a great ladder.

*After removing said Justin from the drawers, sweet Jacob decided to go to the bathroom and miss the toilet ENTIRELY.

*Coming back into the kitchen to get some cleaners, I found Justin sitting in the kitchen sink. Yes - IN THE KITCHEN SINK.

*And so help me - if it takes 3 hours to get the wood stove started today, I'm gonna use lighter fluid!

I think I'm getting some new gates today...and chocolate. LOTS of chocolate...

When Deception is Divine...

Before ya'll get worked up over the fact that I haven't posted about Christmas yet - no worries! I'm working on it as we speak. Remember - gotta get used to the new equipment!

But one of the gifties I recieved from Mom and Dad was the glorious cookbook pictured on the left. Now, regardless of how you view Jerry Seinfeld (or his umpteen-years-his-junionr wife) - this cookbook is FANTASTIC! I don't want to sound like a walking advertisement for the book - - - but I think I'm going to anyway...

So ya'll know I like to cook - and I have tried to cook as healthy as possible for the family. Unfortunately, sometimes it's a pretty big challenge. Steve is never a problem - as long as he doesn't have to cook it, he'll eat it! Justin is a fairly decent eater - although I have to watch how much milk he gets, he'd take veggies over meat and potatoes any day. But then there's Jake... sweet Jake... who won't eat anything green, orange, red, yellow, white, etc - unless it's a popsicle. Who won't eat any other meat item other than chicken nuggets and fish sticks dunked in ketchup. Who fights us at every meal time...

Since Christmas, I've made 5 recipes from this cookbook. And every one has been a success! I wish I'd taken pictures of them all - not because I'll take pics of just about anything (which I will...) - but because the foods really look "normal"! The pancakes (with sweet potato puree) have a slight cinnamon flavor, which is so comforting on the winter mornings. I made the lasagne (with cauliflower and butternut squash puree) - and it was almost gone in one meal! Steve actually said it was the best he'd had, and Jake ate a big serving for dinner and one for lunch. Last night, I made the rice balls - and called them "homemade chicken nuggets". Again - Justin inhaled 2 and Jake ate 3 - not even knowing they were packed with sweet potatoes and butternut squash! Tonight was the last "experiment" night of the week - and yet another success! We had Italian meatloaf (with celery and carrots) and mashed potatoes (with cauliflower puree). I was amazed at the flavor of the potatoes - so rich! Thankfully the meatloaf was a hit, too - Justin ate a good portion, but the best part? Jake ate a whole slice without even needing to be prompted!

I was so I know it takes time... and that's something I don't have a lot of these days. But it's so simple to make these recipes - and let's face it - who doesn't need a little extra boost in their diet!