Ever wonder why you do some things? Things that may seem like a good idea at the time - then once they've played out, it's a total catastrophe... I did something like that a few weeks ago, and ever since then, I've regretted it. I feel like I should have kept my mouth closed - I should have just kept my thoughts to myself and kept on pretending I wasn't having a hard time. But I kinda hoped by reaching out, it would help me get better. Instead, it seems to have made things worse. I think I scared off a lot of people - I know friendships go both ways - but now I'm scared to say anything more and come off like a total nutjob. Maybe no one knows what to say - hell - even I don't know what to say. I'm just sitting here feeling off kilter - lost - and sad. I really try every day to get myself better - to get myself out of the hole I've dug - and there are moments when things seem good. But sometimes I wish I'd just kept quiet and continued pretending. Oh well.
Monday, February 16, 2009
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5 comments:
don't feel that way :( Being honest and admiting your struggles are a good and healthy thing. If anyone has a probalme with that, well, then they just are not true freinds. It's unfortunate that when we need our frieinds the most, you learn who they really are and unfortunatly that is when heartbreak can and often happens. Remember, there ARE many of us who are here for you. You are a great person and just because you have some crap to deal with, figure out, etc... you are a great person and anyone who give you a hard time or distances themselves... well, they are just POOPS!
or maybe they are 'dinglobs' like my word verification! lol
If you keep quiet - it continues to build up inside and has the potential to get much worse!! Maybe by keeping a journal (not blogging it for the world to see) you can also work some stuff out too. You are still the awesome person that you are - just working stuff out - HUGS!!
thanks ladies--- i'm so glad i've found ya'll again. your support makes me realize how i really do matter!
viz - i think i am gonna keep a journal - - - i've thought about it, but never done it. just gotta make sure i password protect it!
YOU didn't dig this hole, my dear. It just is...I agree with Chele...you know who your friends are.
You know where I am if you need me. ((hugs))
I have been where you are now. Sometimes we reach out and it seems as if a firestorm comes from it. I personally believe that those who take a wide berth around you when you have shown that you are not superhuman are only unsettled by the possibility that they feel the same. We did not come into this world alone and we should not have to live that way. You are a fine , intelligent person with a tremendous amount of love to give. When all this nutsiness settles out, you will begin to see all you have inside come to blossom. Know that you are loved by those who really know you. The rest can kiss my, um.........well my rosey red posterior portion of the rather abundant body I call my own. So ther!!!!hahahaha
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